Showing posts with label realtalk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label realtalk. Show all posts



A little disclaimer is almost necessary for such a regretful-sounding title. I loved my wedding. The day was sunny and bright, the imam came on time, the groom's party was well attended to and my family and bridesmaids ran the entire show without a glitch (well except for one minor door gift slip which my bridesmaids gracefully took care of).

Basically, most of the things that I cannot possibly control like the weather and the imam's punctuality, went well, and that is my greatest regret yet because the things that I wanted to be better, were all within my control. There is a tight feeling in my chest as type this down but I need to gather my thoughts and sort it out so that future bride-to-bes can do better than me and will be able to relive their wedding day memories with little to no regrets.


  1. I wish I did some research on wedding photographies and discuss the types of photos and poses that I like with the photographer, prior to the wedding day. Money does not always mean quality. At first I had snagged a good deal (RM1800 for photo and video for 2 events) with a small time photographer who was just starting up at the time and his then portfolio was small but his photos were beautiful, but I ended up with another team recommended by my wedding emcee. We came to the decision thinking that the team, being a professional team working with a television network would definitely produce great photos especially at a whopping service fee of RM4000 for photos and videos. Well I was proven wrong. The photos were mediocre. No the photos were not terrible, but instead of photos taken at a wedding, they look like photos taken at a company annual dinner. The photos were stiff and un-lively. There were no cute photos that I feel like I wanted to put on instagram. They did not instruct or direct me to pose a certain way or try different angles. I could go on and on about the things they did not do/did wrong but that is not my main point. I wish that prior to the wedding, I had looked up and saved some wedding photos and poses that I like and would like to recreate or just for inspiration and discuss them with the photography team.
  2. I wish I had tried on my full wedding outfit days before the wedding. I had my wedding ensemble ready two weeks before the big day and till this day I am kicking myself for not thinking of trying out the outfit with all the accessories. My dress was simple as I wanted to be comfortable on the actual day but had I known better, there are several things that I wish I had done. I wish I had tried on the scarf for my hijab as it turned out to be too long for me and I did not like the shape that it made. I wish I had on taller heels despite wanting to be comfortable as my wedding was a full morning-to-evening event because I need the extra height to look good in photos.
  3. I wish I had tried out a few photo poses and facial expressions for the wedding photography. As I can never guarantee if the photographers will turn out to be satisfactory even after a pre-wedding discussion, I can always count on my poses and facial expressions to be how I like them to be. Sadly, I didn't think of them earlier. 
  4. I wish I had been more picky and detailed to my seamstress. Honestly my reception dress was my favourite part of the wedding. My nikah dress however, was not. It turned out to be different than what was discussed with the seamstress. I was too caught up in my sisters', who were also my bridesmaids, dresses that I just brushed it off and regretted it immediately after looking at the wedding photos. My nikah outfit was in a different cut than what was agreed to and it did not complement my body at all. 
  5. I wish I had been more picky and detailed to my mak andam. I asked for no calla lilies and guess what did I get for my nikah bouquet? Calla lilies. 
  6. I wish I did a better job with the seating chart. People can just be assholes and cancel without telling you. I will just leave this at that.
  7. I wish I did not worry too much on the day and enjoyed myself instead. Honestly the reception event practically ran itself. I had no need to worry and yet I did and as a result, I was anxious the whole day.
All in all, I have had a beautiful wedding despite the regrets. I only hope that future brides can learn from my mistakes so that no brides will be anything but happy on their wedding day and looking back at it.

love,
hunn💖
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I have had several relationships before. Good ones and bad ones. The thing about relationships is that they all end. Either by choice (breakups, divorce) or by force (death). All my past relationships ended by choice and it got me thinking about what have I learned along the way from my first relationship at the tender age of 16 until today at my glory age of 26. So here is a decade of relationship lessons that I have learned.

1. Talk talk TALK. Now this may seem basic but I cannot stress enough the importance of talking and opening up to your partner. We are not mind readers, no matter how good you think you know each other. Talk when something is bothering you, no matter how difficult it may be because a clear understanding between two parties can only be achieved when there is unhindered communication and with clear understanding THEN can only be a discussion of options and decision making.

2. Meet me halfway. Sometimes there is no way that we can agree 100% with our counterpart. There will be instances that one just cannot say yes to the other's say, we are all different people after all. This is where you compromise. When there is a disagreement of two totally different opinions, work around the available options and find a happy middle that both can get what you want without hurting the other. Compromising is tricky. There will be sacrifices of blood and tears, not really, not blood but probably tears. Again, the key is to communicate and find alternatives to cater to both parties' needs and preferences.

3. I got you. One of the biggest perk of being in a relationship is that, you can count on someone to always be on your team. Be his support system, his confidante, his number one fan and him, yours. Research has shown that one of the main reasons people look for relationship is to have someone to share support and care with. With that said, it does not mean that you must support and encourage everything blindly. Support comes in many different forms, from constructive criticism to taking part in what your partner does. Showing interest in what your partner do shows that you care and active participation (read his blogs, compliments/criticize his songs) lets your partner know that he has your support, plus its a confidence boost.

4. I hear you. Listening, the very opposite of talking. When you have a partner, you have someone to always be there for your joys and woes. A critical part of being there for someone is to actually just listen. You do not need to understand or agree to what your partner has to say but there will be a time when you do not really want someone to agree or disagree with you, you just want them to simply listen. So at time like this, shut your mouth, refrain from making comments or suggestions, and just listen.

5. Little things. If relationship is a game, then this is the cheat code. Do the little things. A note on the bedside table, flowers on her front door, buy him stationeries, socks of his favourite cartoon character, basically any little things that reminds you of your partner, do it.

6. Family affairs. Never talk about your problems with your partner to your family members, ESPECIALLY when he/she is not a part of the family (not married) yet. I am not married so I cannot really say how bad it will be, but I know family is a big part of marriage. When you are marrying someone, you are marrying his/her entire family. So before tying the knot, sealing the deal, whatever you may want to call it, do not talk bad about your partner to your family members (unless its a terrible concern that might result to ending the relationship then by all means). 

7. Take one for the team. When it calls for a sacrifice to be made, do it if it is the best for the both of you. Take the blame, miss that one game to go to her office dinner, let her get her pick for the bedroom wall colour. Sometimes, these little sacrifices will just save all that energy that you both could spend fighting but just make sure that it is for a rational and valid cause.

8. Big spender. This is a common thing that everyone does in relationships, spoiling your partner. Yes it is extremely tempting to shower your partner with gifts but remember, each spending is an investment. In relationships you invest your love in someone, and to show your investment, you spend time and money on them. It is fine and I highly recommend for a happy relationship (winks), but be wary, especially when you are just starting. Like investments, relationships can fail as well. 

Those are some of the lessons I learned on the 10-year journey of being in different relationships. There are definitely more on the list but for now, but these 8 are the ones that I would like to share (the ones that i could think of actually). I am writing these lessons as a tribute to my 10th year in relationships and I hope that you enjoy this piece and find it somewhat helpful. Thanks for reading.
 
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